Love and Hate

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.  Hatred is the word we use for deep, deep victim-anger.  You were victimized, so anger makes sense.  If we were working together I would counsel you that anger is an important part of the grieving process, but one in which people sometimes get stuck.  

"That which we do not own, owns us."  Carl Jung. My hunch is that what you're talking about here is a profound grief process that will open itself to you when you're ready for it.  There is no rush, though your anger may continue to "own you" until you are willing to let it become pain.  The tough part about pain is that it's vulnerable – anger feels much safer.   In your life I'm guessing that safety was a rare and much needed commodity…