Context in Therapy

I keep the class comfortable and do my best to always be clear that we are all on equal footing here. One of my favorite supervisors ever, Mike Graham at The Meadows, had a sign on his wall that said "no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care." It's tempting as a clinician (and as a professor) to allow the built in power-differential to create an environment where I am the guru and you are the student. But ultimately that doesn't work because it's based on a lie. The fact is that we're all worth the exact same, because we're all precious children of God. Now given, you are paying me, so I'd better having something useful to tell you or you'll be upset, but the casual atmosphere I keep both as a professor and clinician is really designed to get away from the idea of the therapist guru and closer toward the idea that we're all a bunch of schmoes who have to figure life out together.

For more on this idea buy a copy of Sheldon Kopp's book, "If you see the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!" Kopp has some concepts that I adamantly disagree with, but for the most part that book is totally brilliant as far as understanding the contextfrom which therapy happens. Classes and coursework are all about content, which, frankly, is not all that useful much of the time. context (in contrast to content) is everything other than the content. It's the feeling I get sitting in your office, it's the subtle read of your body language, it's noticing if my connection with my Higher Power is stronger or weaker in your presence... context cannot be taught. It really can't even be written about, though I'm giving it the good 'ol "college try" (sorry. couldn't resist.). context has to be repeatedly experienced, and gradually integrated. But here's the trick - and remember this because it's probably the most useful thing I'll say in this course - when it comes to healing, context is what matters. One of my wife's favorite professors always said "They'll forget everything you tell them, but they'll remember the relationship." That's context.

In my opinion, most great therapist aren't taught, they're born. Occasionally there are training programs where context shows up, most often, I think, by accident. I was lucky. I went to grad school at a place that understood this, and I interned at a place (The Meadows) where the clinical staff lived it (to the degree that such a thing is possible anyway). My hope is that by setting up the class within a context of respect and equality you will start to pick it up too. This class is information that you'll use on rare occasion in your clinical life. If start to understand the context you'll be moving closer to becoming a healer, which, really, is what many of us are seeking.